I Would Do Anything~

So, being a parent sometimes is  so hard.  I think we all know that.  The way I love my kids is crazy and almost obsessive.  I would do anything to  help them.  I mean anything.  I am sitting here on hold with the hospital trying to figure out what is the next treatment or test to do for Zach.  The thing is, is that I am his mom and I should be able to help him.  I don't want him to go to Kindergarten or first grade and get made fun of  because he can't run and jump.  I don't want him to get discouraged and be down on himself.  He is such a vivacious, smart little boy.  He is  happy and so sweet.  He is strong spirited and not easily discouraged.  I want him to always have self confidence.  The frustrating thing is, that there are no answers.  We go to doctors and have tests and then go to more doctors.   I love him so much and I really want to help him.  I just don't know how.  So, then I wonder if I should keep dragging him through all this medical stuff.  Will they ever know what is wrong.  Any kind of diagnosis would be better than all  the limbo.  People are starting to ask about him more... Is something wrong?  Is he ok?  Has he seen a doctor?  The answer is I don't know.  I wish I did.  So for today, I will get on my knees again and pray.  I will pray for strength and comfort and for knowledge to know how to help him!

Christmas & New Years

 There is always so much to say about the Christmas holidays!  These are a couple of shots from Christmas morning.  I love this last picture.  It seems almost as if all of the kids are moving, and yet, there is no blur.  That is how I could mostly describe my life with these three little kids.  They were good sports on Christmas morning.  We all slept late and then opened one present and then went to listen to Grandma Sans speak in another ward and then come home and open the rest of the presents.  They didn't complain.  They just simply got ready for church and were obedient.  After we opened presents, they were so happy and gracious.  I was so proud of how many times I heard each of them say "thanks." 

Then comes New Years!!!  I have always loved New Years eve.  I love holidays and any excuse to get together with people and have fun.  Growing up we always went to my grandma's with 50 cousins and aunts and uncles and ate and played games and banged on pans at midnight.  Well, here I am.  My kids are getting older.  My family doesn't live close by and it is New Years eve.  I want to start fun traditions so that my kids will love the holidays like I did.  This year Chad and I took the kids up to Snowbird.  It was great.  We ate pizza up at Snowbird and then went outside on the deck.  The sky was dark and full of stars.  There were a few other people there bundled up, just like us.  The air was cool and crisp.  There were barrels with fire in them.  We huddled close and kept warm.  We watched Zach chase the fire embers as they landed on the ground.   (he thought it was fun to stomp them out)  Then as we looked up on the mountain there was a parade of skiers coming down holding torches.  It was magnificent.  The whole mountain lit up with light.  It looked like a long orange snake.  The kids were thrilled.  Then as  the snake made it's way to the bottom of the mountain the sky lit up with fireworks.  They were loud and bright.  The kids stood there with their necks cranked and squealed with delight.  It was a really good firework show.  Then we loaded up  in the truck and came home.  On the way down the canyon, Sami said, "this was the best New Years ever."  I was so glad to hear her say that.  I hope that when they grow up they will remember all the little things we have tried to do, and all the fun we have had.  Happy New Years!!!

Motherhood~

Last night I had one of those "ah hah," moments!  I had tucked my kids in bed.  I was doing the dishes and cleaning my kitchen when I heard padded footsteps behind me.  I turned around and there was Sami.  I asked her why she was out of bed and she asked if she could talk with me for a minute.  We sat down together and started talking.  She had a problem and she needed me.  As we started talking, the tears started rolling down her cheeks.  I took her in my arms and simply loved her. I smelled her hair and felt her frustrated breath on my cheek.  I tried to listen and validate.  I tried to comfort and reassure her.  When I looked down at her crazy fluffy hair, her cheeks red and stained from crying, and realized that it was me that she needed. I felt so honored. She trusted me. She wanted my advise and support. After we talked for a few minutes, she felt better and was able to relax and go to sleep.  I  laid in bed and just kept thinking about how much Heavenly Father must trust me to have given me such an incredible child.  I thought a lot about the role of a mother and the power you hold in your heart and hands.  The power to heal and comfort and to make everything ok, when no one else can.  I thank God for the power of motherhood and for the power I hold in  being a mom.

Families

I wanted to share some pictures of our family Christmas parties.  Our families are both incredible and unique.  I thank my lucky stars to have been born into my family and to have been married into Chad's.  I am so happy for my kids to be surrounded by such amazing people!!!  Merry Christmas !!

Santa just showed up!!!  Close your mouth Cade :}!!!

Typical family picture with Zach!!

Nativity~

The Sunday before Christmas, the kids and I made nativities out of play-dough!  This was so much fun and the kids loved it.  We made salt dough and put kool-aid in it.   The colors were interesting, the dough warm, and the kids happy.  We read some scriptures about the birth of our Savior. We made four nativities and they all turned out completely different! Then we carefully bundled up our nativites and delivered them to primary teachers and special friends.  It was a great activity and we loved delivering these gifts of love. 

~Tis the Season~



Sami is "the" angel in the ward nativity!!!

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder~

Could she be more sweet and innocent and yet so mature.  She squishes when I hug her.  Her hair is deliciously curly and have you seen her smile.  She lights up the room and when I look at her I am overwhelmed with beauty!



This is Alex's tree.  He literally threw the lights on and a couple of "his" decorations and "walaaa" all done!  He is independent and smart, yet very tender and sensitive.  He is creative and wants to know how the whole world works!   He has deep blue eyes and this little precious mouth.  When I look at him, especially with chocolate in the corners of his mouth, I am stunned by his beauty!



He has all these extra little teeth.  He was a little clumsy as he tried to hang ornaments with his chubby fingers.  His eyebrows furrow and he is so intense when he talks.  He laughs out loud and has splash of little freckles across his nose.  There aren't even words to describe the beauty I see in him. 

 I loved decorating our Christmas tree!  I loved Alex's tree.  I loved Sami's maturity and creativity.  I loved Zach's passion and determination to not give up.  I love and find a lot of humility in being surrounded by these true little beauties!