~It needs to be said~

So, I haven't posted for a long time.  I am a tech  tard and am struggling with trying to get my blog into a book form.  So I have just kind of abandoned it lately.  But tonight I have all these feelings and thoughts and I want to share. 
Chad is out of town on a ski trip with his dad and brothers.  My kids are in bed and it is quiet, which never happens.   Tomorrow is Valentines day.  I love all holidays and Valentines day is great.  I have been thinking a lot about love.  What is it to love?  There are all kinds of love. There is the love of friends.  Friends that "get" you and would do anything for you.  The love of family.  Siblings and parents make a person who they are.  That is a powerful bond and a love that never ever goes away. The romantic kind where someone takes your breath away.  That is such  a fun exciting love.  There is the  "I have been married for 12 years" love.  The kind that is so deep and real and earned through hard work and actually putting someone before yourself all the time. The kind where you feel at home as long as he is with you.  The kind where you have been together so long that he can order for you on a menu and get it exactly right.  There is the unexplainable feeling for your children.  Which, if you ask me, is a feeling stronger and more powerful than love.  The kind that changes a person completely and is completely unselfish.  The kind that is so overwhelming you would die for it.  There are all kinds of love.  I have been reading a book about Jesus Christ.  As, I have been thinking about love I keep thinking of Him.  I think of how he came to this lonely cold world as half mortal - half God.  I think of Him  growing up as a boy.  He was so valiant and in tune, that line upon line and precept upon precept He realized who He was, the actual "Son of  God."  I realize that in the Garden of Gethsemane, He was actually left all alone so that He would know exactly how we felt as mortals.  All alone, that his Father in Heaven had to leave Him so that the sacrifice would be real and complete.  I have realized as He was mocked and beaten and spit upon and then crucified, that He had power to stop it all.  Did He?  No!  I realized that in the pre-existence we all had free agency.   I realized that God had a plan.  I realized that Jesus understood what would happen once the fall took place.  I realize that none of us were strong enough.  Except for one!  He said, " I will go. Send me!"  Why did He do this.  Because He LOVED his Heavenly Father and because He LOVED us.  It was His choice.  He chose us, his brothers and sisters.  He saved us because he loves us.  So when you think of love, think of our older brother who lived and died for us!!!!  Happy Valentines day!!

 

 

 

 

My Whole World~

They are truly, my whole world!

Friday Night~

This has been a couple of crazy weeks for me.  I feel like time is slipping through my fingers.  Like life is moving in fast forward.   So tonight is Friday night.  Sami and Alex are asleep.  Zach is in his bedroom.  He is all tucked in bed and Chad is in there with him playing and talking.  I discouraged this cause I want Zach to sleep, but they are laughing and talking.  Earlier this week, Sami came home from school and I realized how big she is getting.  It was like it slapped me in the face.  In she walked after school;  tall, high pony tail, bright blue eyes and smiling.  She was telling me about some drama at school and thought some of the girls were being silly.  We, (Sami and I) had this adult conversation.  She is losing her baby face.  Her bone structure is more refined.  She has pretty lips and nice teeth.  Wow, when did that happen.  All the while, Alex is getting ready for his first pack meeting for cub scouts.  Seriously, stop it.  I love to see them.  They are happy and well adjusted, but good grief.  Stop growing.  Stop needing me less.  Well, it's not that they need me less, just different.  I am not sure how to be needed different. I don't know if I do different.  I still want to fix her hair each day and have to remind him to brush his teeth, but they don't need me to walk them to the school or help them in their jammies.  There is a lot of growing around here and it makes me tired.  So here I sit on this exciting Friday night and try to figure out how to be needed differently!!!  How to let them grow up and be them.  How to be older and middle aged.  How to deal with my exciting Friday night!

Halloween 2012

Hippie chick~

Two-face

Soldier

Here are some knives, kids!  Stab away, this is totally safe...   Look at their faces..  This is serious stuff!

Halloween party at Grandma Sans with Cousins... so so fun!

Grandma Sans and Sami~



I don't even know where to start!  The young women in the ward always do a little Halloween carnival with games and stuff for the kids.  Here is a shot of my friends and me.  It is always fun!  Most of us dress up, and have a great time!!



~No Faces

This picture says so much about my kids and my life!  First of all, look at their shoes.  They are all slip on shoes.  No laces!  Sami LOVES her cowboy boots!  She crosses her legs and wears rubber bands around her wrists.  Sami is getting long legs.  She is getting tall and confident.  Alex will always be the middle kid.  He is kind and generous.  His little arms are crossed and his hand are gently place on his knees.  Not perfect, not even, just sitting their relaxed the way they need to be.  He runs and plays balls in those shoes.  He goes to cub scouts in those shoes. His legs are almost as long as Sami's, almost.  He has his own adventures to look forward too.  Then there is little Zach, and he will always be the baby.  There are burs all over his pant legs from some random adventure.  His legs just dangle off the bench. They are a lot farther from the ground then his siblings.  He is trying to figure out exactly what to do with his fingers.   His hands are almost clasped, but not quite.  
They sit side by side on the bench.  They are all uniquely different and yet the same blood courses through them... They sit side by side on this bench, as I hope they will be side by side for the rest of their lives!

Colors, smell, leaves, people~

My kids and my friend Sarah Bunkers kids after a hike up Neffs Canyon!

Family photo up Neffs Canyon!

Bunker kids up Neffs Canyon



Sarah and her cute kids up Neffs Canyon!




Sami and Chad on the Little Willow Hike!



Chad and kids hiking up to Little Willow Lake!

Little Willow Lake~

Picture of some friends/girl at Little Willow Lake

Boys at Little Willow Lake~

Group shot of all the kids at Little Willow Lake!

Little Willow  Lake

I am  just going to talk about my senses when I hike.  I usually go slow because I am with Zach.  He is a great little hiker, but not fast.  So, I really have time to enjoy hiking.  My favorite hike is up to Little Willow Lake.  It is not quite a mile one way.  You walk through a ton of Aspen trees.  We hiked there one fall and it was "snowing" leaves.  It was so magical.  The kids and I just stopped hiking.  We stood still and it was like the world stood still with all these orange and yellow leaves floating in the air.   There were hundreds of them.  It was so special.  When I hike breath deep.  When I hike I notice the beauty and can feel the silence.  I embrace the silence.  
We did a couple of family hikes and some with great friends.  I am so thankful for the change of seasons.  For how beautiful and exciting it can be.  For the way I work and breath and move to get where I am going.  And most of all, for the awe and spirituality I feel, when I see this beautiful world Heavenly Father created for me!

~Mitochondrial Disease~ What is it?~

What is Mitochondrial Disease?

Mitochondrial diseases result from failures of the mitochondria, specialized compartments present in every cell of the body except red blood cells. Mitochondria are responsible for creating more than 90% of the energy needed by the body to sustain life and support growth. When they fail, less and less energy is generated within the cell. Cell injury and even cell death follow. If this process is repeated throughout the body, whole systems begin to fail, and the life of the person in whom this is happening is severely compromised. The disease primarily affects children, but adult onset is becoming more and more common.

Diseases of the mitochondria appear to cause the most damage to cells of the brain, heart, liver, skeletal muscles, kidney and the endocrine and respiratory systems.

Depending on which cells are affected, symptoms may include loss of motor control, muscle weakness and pain, gastro-intestinal disorders and swallowing difficulties, poor growth, cardiac disease, liver disease, diabetes, respiratory complications, seizures, visual/hearing problems, lactic acidosis, developmental delays and susceptibility to infection

I had the opportunity to join my family in the "Energy 4 Life" walk.  It supports and raises money for children with Mitochondrial disease.  There was a great turn out this year.  It was at Liberty Park.  Sami and I were there.  Chad and the boys had a stake father/son campout.  So, they missed it.  One of my bests friends, Sarah, came and brought her four kids.  My folks came down the night before and stayed at my house.  My mom just had her knee operated on, so she was in a wheel chair.    They had a poster for Torri.  It was so sweet!

 

I also have a couple of cousins whose children have the same disease and have even died of this disease.  It is really hard, sad and something they deal with on a daily basis. This disease has taken a toll on the "Crane" side of my family.  There was so much great family support there.  It is amazing to see cousins and aunts and uncles you haven't seen for a while.  You hug and cry and sometimes laugh.  I come from a big, supportive, awesome family.   So here are a couple of shots from the walk this year.  It was an honor to wear the color Red in honor of Team Tobes. 

 

Tanner and Sami at the fishing pond!

Brad and Cathy in front on Torri's poster.  They are truly amazing.  The fact that they are still "living" after all the heartache they have been through!

My mom, Sami, Lincoln, Charlotte and Afton at the walk!

Here is a group shot of "Team Tobes."  Brad and Cathy had great friend and family support.  We all wore red, but there were other family members there honoring their loved ones in blue, yellow and pink!